Well if she can do it..

.. so will I.

Let's see.. awhile ago I broke up with a girl. After a few moments of doubt a clincher came around and as it turns out I am not inclined towards girls at all. Sorry, I'm straight. No, she didn't take it well at all. Of course I cared about her, but by that point it was more sisterly love than anything. I blamed everything on me and continuously said sorry. Eventually we started talking again.

Well, awhile after I broke up with her I got together with my best friend. As both me and Ebon were friends of hers, we decided to keep this from her until she felt better about the situation.

She found out about us.

And fucking freaked out, because apparently good intentions aren't enough. Nope, she hasn't called me a horrible person enough times. Apparently I must wait more than a month to get together with someone.

Oh and that's not all, besides insulting the shit out of me apparently she's going to 'smash my face with a sledgehammer, put daggers in my eyes, and cut out my tongue with a rusty knife.' She also threatened to give Ebon's number to trade chat.

Oh, AND the people she told, that I thought were my friends? Fucking no. They never were. I see this on my facebook:

"Luana shares:
 Eat It.

Chris: "How dare you do that! Seriously. Couldn't you have waited until the scars had healed a bit, before you went behind her back?! I am so disappointed in you. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You don't deserve someone as awesome as Bronen. I don't think we can be friends anymore."

Cyndi likes this."

Yeah, all three of those people? I should have known better than to trust anyone. Why am I so mean on aywas? Everyone always stabs you in the fucking back.

Then I read this:

"To Ebon and Zebby,

Why on Earth did you think it was a good idea to keep it hidden from me? Or more importantly, why so soon after breaking up with me? Do either of you have morals or common sense even? No, one of you was just waiting for the other to break up with me and didn't care if it hurt me more in the process by keeping it hidden. That's not "protecting" me. That's just being selfish and it's kind of sad neither of you had enough common sense to realize how wrong it is, considering one of you supposedly read my blog on an almost daily basis. But hey, what I say or feel doesn't matter. I'm easily replaced. Either way, what you two did is not what friends would do and I really could care less what is coming to you. I defended you both for the longest, but after what you've done, I'm not going to bother. Have fun. I don't know how anything in this blog makes you think it's ok to date behind my back while I'm dealing with depression. When you both figure out how to actually be good friends and act like best friends, let me know. Both of you are horrible people."

Putting words in my mouth and making me out to be the bad person LIKE ALWAYS. You never do anything wrong, do you Bronen? Nope, THAT WOULD BE SILLY.

Fuck, I should have listened to my grandparents when they warned me. I can't believe I'm crying over this. You never wanted to be my friend after we broke up, that was a lie. (See? How about I put words in your mouth because THEY SEEM TRUE TO ME.) Ugh, I know she won't read this but.. I need to vent here before I post to her.

Fucking eh, I just... I just can't do it anymore. I can't. Nothing ever goes right. Ever. I can NEVER be happy. Mom was right. I should have shut up and killed myself a long fucking time ago.

Last one this morning! Promise!

" Zebby, seriously? You've seriously gotten to being downright mean lately. =T I don't see why it's even necessary for you make these comments. Then again, I've never really seen what's so amusing about hurting someone else."

>=[ It is NOT 'lately'. Geez. I've always been this mean. -ALWAYS-

.... Ok maybe a little meaner than normal. But you know, this annoyance with people on aywas HAS been building for two years. It's like a temperature gauge, it's just going to get worse.

Edit: " ****To everyone involved with the original two threads: I'm not sure who was right and who was wrong, I know I was right at least part of the time, that some of you were right at least part of the time, that I was wrong at least part of the time, and that some of you were wrong at least part of the time, and so I'm sorry, to all those that were in the right or effected by me being in the wrong, I am truly sorry for how I acted.****"

Really? That's.. like.. the worst backhanded apology I've seen in a LONG time. And you think my meanness is bad? :| Some of these people need it damnit. They do. Trust me. Spines need to be grown before one in the form of a stick is shoved up their ass in place of it.

Oh you two

These two already highly amuse me but this made my breakfast get messy this morning:

"My boyfriend is shipping our cat with a stray outside. He's going to draw gay cat porn, and our cat is going to be a bottom. Because he was scratched.

Not the shipping them as a couple, just the bottom part.

Why am I with you, HL. :|" -Zephy

"

It's what he deserves, I buy him $30 food and then he's a DICK to me Also I'm pretty sure he actually is with that cat because it sleeps in his chair and waits for him seductively" -HL XD ahahahahaha!

Bridgette

Ah yes, the little girl that enjoys being called a skank. (I kid you not, she does.)

Anyway looky here:

http://www.aywas.com/forum/topic/156445/

Ridiculous thread is ridiculous to start with but then.. then I see something like this:

"

I have some theories about why you had this issue but honestly they arent complimentary to the attackers so I will keep them to myself. I do truly understand your reason for the thread, asking her not to read or post, and why you didnt defend yourself. I will say though that I totally understand your feelings and much of how you describe yourself is how I describe myself less being autistic as far as I know. That being said I understand how the ordeal has effected you and understand how you cannot let it go. I sit pondering about events sometimes too. The only thing that brings me peace is forgetting about it and a xanax when i unfortunately remember. My signature used to say "i know you believe you heard what i said but you dont understand what you think i said is not what i meant" which is frequently my feelings when posting. Frequently things that i say with best intentions are not taken as they were intended and i believe that is what happen to you. Rather than giving you the benefit of the doubt or rethinking on their part they jumped instead... Which is frequent for peoplebecause im not gonna sugar coat it.. People are mean and they seek power over you. They want to feel better than you and they want to put you in your place because it makes them feel good about themselves. Anyway... I hope you Are able to let this go and find peace with it. I wish you the b est of luck and im truly deeply sorry that its made you feel the way you do."     Oooohhh boy, sweety. For one, good job basically insulting everyone who posted against this dumbass months ago. For two, I completely forgot you still existed :D Thanks for reminding me. I've missed hunting down your moron moments.

Mini discovery

Lols, pun title.

"It's not my business if y'all wanna make a wank blog for namedropping/bringing down people on aywas offsite so you can be a nasty person without onsite consequences, I don't really care. Except that these people continue posting their crap to the aywas tag on tumblr. Some people track that tag, y'know? I dont mind the rant blog, that's what that blog is for I guess, but now there's more "LOOK HOW STUPID THIS PERSON IS IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT" in the tag than...actual aywas stuff.
I wish they'd tag their stuff "aywas rants" instead of aywas. Or at least put their enormous three part rant under a cut. I think some of them have already done this since the last time I whined about it, but now there's another one.
Yes, amazingly, I don't care about why you think so-and-so is a bluh bluh huge bitch and while you're welcome to make a post about her I wish it wasn't somewhere I'd have to scroll through. I see plenty enough aywas drama on actual aywas threads, and it's really annoying to have to see it offsite all the time.
Again, I don't care what you do, I'm not going to police you for being a dick and there's no changing people so I'm not telling anyone to STOP making those blogs or STOP posting about people offsite, I'm mainly just annoyed that it's posted somewhere public that I have to be reminded there are idiots on this site. A "read more" would be really helpful if they still want it visible on the tag."

I wish I actually got on tumblr now, I'm curious.

Hmmm

So, this might not get many posts for a bit. Kinda not feeling the whole 'give a damn' thing.

And by a bit I mean like a few days.

Maybe.

Aywas keeps surprising me.

On a more serious note, I'm a horrible 'adult'. Not very good at it at all.For the first couple days LAUNDRY GOT DONE BITCHES and now... now it's sitting in the basket and I dig through it when I want to wear something. Fuck folding.

My cousin/landlord is going to kill me XD

And I keep reading things that make me wonder, and worry. And seeing things that make me wonder, and worry.

x-x And I keep worrying and I just... gotta stop worrying. Pretty sure it's about nothing. .... 70% sure. Ish.

I'm going to go find bourbon now, ciao.

Gabbers

"Gabrielle is Republican. Not sure what Ellie is, though I don't really care as long as she respects life [i.e., anti-abortion, anti-hunting...I'm more passionate about being pro-life]"   Oh Gabby, you and your ignorant ways.. your habit of turning every thread into an abortion one...    :D Just makes me hate you more.