Personal

Things have been going to shit recently.

1) I have NO damn job. I want to be able to help out and not leech off my boyfriend. He doesn't mind but my pride.. I mind.

2) My sister's getting worse not better. She saw the part of her leg that was attached to her stomach concave-d on the weekend. Burst out crying for me and.. I can't be there for her. I wish I could. Seeing a hairy leg flesh on your sunken stomach is just.. Poor kid.

3) Vince is NOT being a father and taking care of my little boy. And yes I say MY little boy. He was calling me mama before I left and I haven't seen him in.. forever.. I miss him so much. That stepjerk is also talking about killing the pets.

4) I can't drive for shit. I hate driving here. I'm so scared to be alone even in the car without Robert. I can't stand public.

5) I stress out over stupid little things.

I'm just.. freaking out and taking it out on people that don't deserve it. I don't think anyone reads this anymore except maybe my "sister" and I don't know.. I just... I'm crying whenever he's not around so he can't see. I can't talk to him about this stuff because he basically already knows and it bugs him that he can't do anything. I have no friends here. I don't have all my stuff here. I feel alone and useless and helpless and I just hate it.

It's just getting worse and worse. Damn, I really want to die right now. It'd be so much easier.