This is Win

STAFF MENMBARs DONT READ THIS BECAUSE IT MAY HURT YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!QW!!!!

SO WHAT'S UP WITH SLASH'S HIATUS, EH???? IF YOU ASK ME IT'S AWFULLY SUSPICIOUS THAT HE LEFT FOR HIS BREAK AROUND A FULL MOON. HE SAID HE WAS TIRED OF AN OVERLY CRABBY AND PRESUMPTUOUS USERBASE, BUT I THINK HE'S REALLY AN ALIEN AND HE WENT BACK TO ATLANTIS TO REJUVENATE HIS HUMAN MEAT DISGUISE. WHY ELSE WOULD HE LEAVE WHEN THE PLANETS WERE IN ALIGNMENT??? CHECKMATE, SLASH

ERI... I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE ERI IS SOME SORT OF SKINWALKER. SHE MASQUERADES AS A NORMAL HUMAN, BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE ANYONE ON THE AYWAS STAFF COULD BE SO NORMAL. ANOTHER OF SLASH'S SPECIES, PERHAPS? I MUST INVESTIGATE THIS FURTHER, AS WELL AS THIS "DEW" CREATURE SHE SPEAKS OF OFTEN. WHO IS THIS "DEW?" WE NEVER SEE HIM MAKE NEWS POSTS. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE IS NOT A REAL PERSON, BUT RATHER A CODE PHRASE ERI USES TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE ALIEN MOTHERSHIP. I'M STILL WORKING TO CRACK THE CODE LANGUAGE, BUT SO FAR I HAVE DECIPHERED THAT WHEN SHE SAYS SHE LOVES DEW, IT MEANS, "THE HUMANS ARE UNAWARE OF MY DEVIOUS PLOT."

I HAVE MY EYE ON SKITTY, TOO. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 1,000 YEARS SINCE SHE LAST WENT THROUGH THE CUSTOM QUEUE. IS THAT ANY WAY TO TREAT US USERS???? WHAT IS HER PROBLEM ANYWAY!!! ONCE I GOT A BORDERLINE BLUE-GOLD DESIGN CHECKED, AND SHE RULED IT AS GOLD, BUT SHE RULED SOMEONE ELSE'S DIFFERENT BORDERLINE DESIGN BLUE!!!!!!!! THIS IS DISCRIMINATION OF THE WORST KIND, FOLKS: THE KIND AGAINST ME!!!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FREY! SHE MIGHT PLAY COY BUT I KNOW THE TRUE REASON BREEDINGS ARE SLOW: SHE'S HOARDING THE REAL EGGS ALL HERSELF AND THEN HIRING THOSE LAZY SWINE BC BREEDING ARTISTS TO SCROUNGE UP FLIMSY REPLACEMENTS. (GOD, THE BREEDING STAFF, DID THEY JUST HIRE TALENTLESS HOBOS OR WHAT??? ONCE I BRED 2 GREEN PETS TOGETHER, AND THE BABY WAS GREEN!!! TALK ABOUT A LACK OF CREATIVITY!!!!) ON TOP OF THAT, HAS ANYONE EVER WONDERED WHY SHE COLLECTS PALEOS BEFORE?? BECAUSE SHE IS A VELOCIRAPTOR IRL!! AND GUESS WHAT??? RAPTORS EAT EGGS!!! YOU CAN'T TRUST HER ALONE WITH YOUR BREEDINGS!!!

AND LET'S SAY YOU MAKE YOUR OWN PREDICTS TO TRY AND KEEP YOUR PRECIOUS PIXEL BABIES OUT OF FREY'S COLD, REPTILIAN CLAWS. NICE TRY, BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO RUN YOUR PREDICTS BY A FREAKING HORSE!!!!! WE ALL KNOW GREYMARE USES A DARTBOARD TO DECIDE WHICH PREDICTS ARE ACCEPTABLE, BUT IF SHE ARE A HORSE HOW DOES SHE THROW THE DARTS??? SERIOUSLY, AYWAS, A HORSE WITH HANDS??? WHAT ELSE ARE YOU NOT TELLING YOUR LOYAL USERBASE???

THE OTHER MODS AREN'T MUCH BETTER, WITH THEIR SNOBBY GREEN POSTS. GREEN IS THE SNOBBIEST COLOR!! THE COLOR OF THE MONEY THEY LOVE SO MUCH (EVEN THOUGH MODS ARE VOLUNTEER AND DON'T GET PAID)!!! IT'S ALSO THE COLOR OF LAWNS, AND... UH... LAWNS ARE DEFINITELY UP TO SOMETHING. I'M JUST NOT SURE YET. ANYWAY, THE POINT IS, MODS MAY HAVE ONCE BEEN NORMAL USERS LIKE YOU AND ME, BUT THEY AREN'T TO BE TRUSTED NOW... THE AYWAS ILLUMINATI HAS STOLEN THEIR SOULS AND TURNED THEM, LIKE A VAMPIRE SIRES ANOTHER.

AND WITH THAT, I CLOSE MY RANT. I HAVE FINALLY SAID WHAT THE ENTIRE USERBASE IS THINKING. NOW, I MUST ESCAPE INTO THE NIGHT, LEST THE AYWAS ILLUMINATI FIND MY SECRET HIDING PLACE. WAIT---SHH, WHAT WAS THAT? I HEARD A CRASH! SHIT, THEY'RE AT THE DOOR! THEY MIGHT LOCK ME AWAY, BAN ME, HUSH MY VOICE, BUT THE TRUTH WILL NEVER BE SILENCED!!!! THE WORLD!!! MUST KNOW!!!! REMEMBER ME AS I WAS

Nyoko 585... YOU ARE AWESOME.